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Year One

by Doodseskader

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1.
1745 04:31
Dress like a sheep, bite like a wolf Speak to me, make me whole Eyes burn a vision in my soul Tie me a knot, sway from the tree Chase the devil, follow me Different body appetite Love will kill Secret group shaking hands Face masks, gold medal Death Squad, never ending roam Year one, to kill or be killed Damn right, I will never give in Hands down, If only you’d see Ain’t nobody fucking with me [ It’s about you or me ] Hindsight it looks so easy I only hang with the best so start pleasing Mine, keep your hands off Don’t you try to take it all away Mine, bet you like these don’t you Mine, so keep your hands off, you can try Forever face the fear Mine, is a poisonous gift To love is to kill, to have is to lose You're fucking with me? Well fuck you too. Even in my face you can't face the truth I’m reflecting a bitter world in view Refused, sooner or later Last shot to the heart, sooner or later Whenever you hate me I wanna know Blown back to your harm Someone will make me deceive you from safety You'll never know Gimme a spark whenever you save me Out of the aching, I wanna know Last shot through the heart, sooner or later I’m sorry to say this, I hate you all I’m bruised, fucking bruised Bruised, that’s how I defeat the pain Bruised, fucking bruised Last shot to the heart, sooner or later Whenever you hate me, I wanna know Last shot through the heart, sooner or later I’m sorry to say this, I hate you all
2.
Close your eyes, it’s time Let me give you the final piece of my mind
 I’m somewhere lost inside Buried deep beneath my hidden desires I must seem tame when all you see is my leash Surely I am scared when I’m grinding my teeth But make no mistake - Dirty hands dig the deepest graves 
 [ It’s better, so I don’t show Little do you know, little do you know You speak and it shows How little you know, little you know, fool Keep my wounds to myself and my curtains closed, little do you know Digging for gold or digging a hole Little do you know, they will never know any better ] 
 Sugar always sells and every word’s so sweet That you can’t help yourself It’s a living hell of powder-coated dreams But can’t you tell how it is better? I’d almost start to pity you - Fool I’m setting things straight - now witness The filth and the weight - I’m slipping I’ll take this shit to my grave - resisting It’s better this way - forgive me See me Injured Face me Disfigured 
 Another day another tragedy Until the serpent fucking swallows me Curse all gods, I’m setting myself free Until the serpent fucking swallows me How to tell a pig that it’s lying in shit? How to make you see that I was drenched in their spit?
 I am alone, like you, unlike you - Smiling to my face, fool, I will never like you And as they hang their heads in shame it now is clear what is ours, and who they are I made us a banner but you started a fucking war Cast in your shadows A quietly voiced troth “Violence brings violence, let’s see what you’ve got” - Let’s see what you’ve got
 Bring me your tar and your feathers, your sick and your poor I said violence brings violence, it’ll come to your door I am alone, like you Unlike you Smiling to my face fool, I will never like you. Keep smiling to my face fool, I will never like you
3.
Keep it clean from the middle to the top Keep it clean just a little spot I’m losing my grip while you keep heading up I’m losing my grip while you keep giving up I pick up the pieces, do you mind If you don't chew me, will you bite? I like to live because i'll die [ Come and turn me down ‘cause I live for something better I’m changing, make way ] Keep on hating, keep me numb Keep on chasing, keep me dumb Cut the bullshit, come and save me Fuck my life, trouble’s what it gave me I don’t earn shit, this a goldmine I’m a train wreck, this a lifeline Keep hating, I don’t feel shit Keep raging, if you need it This a lifeline? I’m drowning. This a goldmine? I’m starving. This a future? No thank you. This a fuck up I’ve got used to No / Drip, drip ’till the bottom’s full No / Maybe the final one No / Cut the bullshit ‘cause I live for - Cover the truth Still believe the bad to be good Let me compete, fight my own fight So these scars can protect me from you Now who blames who? I blame you.
4.
Oh tender web of love and lies My head is heavy and my heart is tired Your fragile chest spread open wide - it's alright You could ease my thirst if you just keep bleeding The less you're able to feel, the more you'll need me A future full of pain and continuous grieving - we'll be fine But if lying to yourself makes things easier You just focus on how it was, and forget how it got worse It's all the same - until you'll figure it out Our lives won't change for the better Less of everything, yet it's all that I can see There's less of everything and I know it shows You just keep your head high in this pit of despair It's just a matter of time 'til we'll climb out of here The darkness came when you went to sleep I stayed awake - the dark is me But if lying to yourself makes things easier You just focus on how it was, and forget how it got worse It's all the same - until you'll figure it out Our lives won't change for the better Our fates entwined, and our misery shared I find comfort in your silence In knowing you're still here There's an end to it all, and it's in our reach This lifetime of hurt will grant a future so bleak Oh tender web of love and lies My head is heavy and my heart is tired Need more time, swear we'll figure this out An end to the ache, a renewal of vows I can't live like this - everything's amiss It's a shame, how we're all being played Shifting the blame until our eyes serve no fucking purpose Two lives, and it's all the same Baby I won't lie, no I won't change - for you
5.
Did everything I said, killing ‘em quick so I don’t waste my breath You’re still learning how to live, I’m planning spiteful death Forty fucking five, I wear the number like a vest I bet you ain’t heard a thing I said Your sense of self-importance always clouds your head Drums still banging, words hit like lead Bitch, I know that I’m headed for a spiteful death See I’ve been through the wringer but I came out based Need that yummy for my tummy, it’s a constant ache Money ain’t a problem - it’s a threat I face Don’t want to live a fool’s life - bitch - enslaved [ I would say I’m either broken or blind today If only you would fight for me instead of fucking up my life again ] Only you define the hole in me Should have known that I can’t get refilled The greatest debris by date Fuck me, you won’t find your home at my place Whatever the outcome But you can drag me if you think I’m a keeper The double tongued, they all insist How you’re just someone who will hardly be missed But fuck a cult - unless it’s mine you’re with Shines like silver, tastes like shit Another cycle of suffering on the treadmill to succes Hell is everyone else when you’re kept well fed Closer to the truth and a spiteful death Hell is everyone else, I need to keep them fed You crushed my heart - The only thing to do is get along with myself War, the only thing that’s slowly making sense to my self I’ll only make it stop when you get over yourself.
6.
6 : I Hope You Find Joy In Your Ignorance Smack my fucking head, you feel me? Nights i've spent in bliss, not really Pray for them to slowly pass me by I do have a lot to offer, I do have a lot to suffer Yeah you’re pulling tricks, yeah you do magic, to my mind Somewhat I feel like I am beneath you Somewhat I feel like I should be near you You and I we’re one together, you’re the only one that matters I’m here to make you feel fucking happy all the time I don’t want to be a quitter, all I'm ought to be is filler I do want to go home on an ordinary night Gloom sets the mood I will bloom - wither soon Like you know me [ No light - I’m given ] As I gave you my world I gave all but a dream. Does it matter? In the end of all hurt there’s a little of me, hurting better. You're in a hurry - so I stumble through Who have I to lose? Who have I to - reject me Should have bear my luck, I didn’t care enough The world is sick, but so are you Good luck my friends, we're crashing soon Suffering minds
7.
Blood Feud 06:52
Year one, and you’re still clueless as ever.
 This ain’t no record.
 
 Said you’re looking shell-shocked As the bodies drop Said it’s mind over matter, yet another cop It’s in my blood to want it all
 Yeah it’s a long way to the top When the pile is fucking tall And the killing never stops But I am infinite, the flesh and blood void An empty bag of bones since my soul was destroyed And this is god mode, on my own life I just want to live so won’t you let me fucking die
 
 Tu parles beaucoup pour un has-been Tu te crois prince de la scene, t’es le roi de la vitrine Je mets du respect sur mon blaze pendant que tu danses pour le fric Zero confiance donc soit tu vends, soit t’es flic Veelbesproken, maar weinig dat klopt Ze willen catalogeren op mijn kleren of mijn kop Ik heb leren incasseren en dat zeer nooit stopt - Heb nu een kroon van pek en veren, doe hen zeer voor sport [ Too little, too late You’re bleeding out on the fucking floor Leaving no doubt I made my mark. ] I can’t tell wrong from right, a split right in the middle of my mind’s eye If I can’t see or feel like the others should I spend all my days gagged and smothered?
 
 I’m failing to feel any lust for life My back bent, scourged Strokes of red to stop my racing mind Scars like corduroy - I am the bottomless pit A sight like a polaroid soaked in blood and spit And it’s a harsh truth on your deaf ears, but do you hear me now?
 I said “until all is 45, until graceful gold covers my shameful crown” Who are you to judge anyone else, when you barely know yourself?
 A copy of a copy of his fathers son I said “mother don’t you worry ‘bout the shit I’ve done” For it is done and I have become me. I said “I’ve lost myself, now I can’t be like everybody else” Now I can’t be like everybody else. I aimed to break the cycle yet I only broke myself My only aim survival My life a living hell I am the five-faced king. Clown prince of suffering.

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released November 18, 2022

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Doodseskader Ghent, Belgium

DOODSESKADER (“death squad”) is the new brand of sonic terror from the minds of Tim De Gieter (Amenra, Every Stranger Looks Like You,…) and Sigfried Burroughs (Kapitan Korsakov, The K., …).

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