1. |
Pastel Prison
04:16
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She says I’m pretty like a car wreck and I barely feel at all
I said “you know it ain’t all bad but your pitying is all I want”
[I saw you in…]
She sent a video in all black, I really shouldn’t but it’s all I want
And it’s pleasing to the eye like it’s piercing through my mind
Give me all of that
My skin is up for grabs ‘cause I’m alone, alone, alone
Soft meat on video, I am alone, alone, alone, alone
Foaming at the mouth in your pastel prison I’m alone, alone, alone, alone
Weak in the knees, I’m begging you please
Soft skin on video
I’m in your city, could you call back?
I dream of meat and furry walls
I know that you’re all that
And you know this is all I want
I saw you in my dream tonight
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2. |
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Numerous tears felt the skin of many
Mine will be a waste of time, you’ll see
I’m not someone to cry about - no more
Is any of you needing me?
From the top to the bottom I drop
No one to pick me up
Your hands, they were missing
No one can make me better
Tell me why I should keep up with this forever
It’s a shame to keep me going
While you know me
Yeah you know me
From the deepest of my injuries showing
I’ve been growing
Undergoing
Flawless as I’m trying to be
I can’t be what is left of me
Found the words, stood up to speak
Still I’m to scared to tell you how I feel
Get me ?
Wish I could erase these memories - but they’re so hard to forget
Carved into my mind, a life I never had
There’s so much of me impossible to retrieve
For better or for worse I refuse to believe
Malfunction - carved into my life
Malfunction - sadly doing fine
This is a complete mindfuck and I’ll never be able to shake it off
Never will it better over time
Roads still end up nowhere - that’s fine
I hate to pierce the dream to you
Maybe we should see
See ourselves
Care and bother for another doing well
We all have a chance
This is what we’re going through
Nobody will understand
We all try to live up to are dreams before
Everything comes to an end
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3. |
Innocence (An Offering)
04:26
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Tell me how I got here
Your golden thread led me nowhere
Porcelain skin hits the pavement
It’s by your golden thread I’ll be hanging
The future brings suffering and it’s coming quick
Mind and body, broken and sick
Blood in my eyes and a heart like a brick
I’m already fucking gone so I might as well skip this shit
I’ve got my stomach in my throat
I know you’ll be waiting at the end of this rope
No love lost.
Fuck a pity party, might be chasing my tail
But fortune never smiled, just saw her pitch black veil
You said patience is all I’d ever need
But nothing’s really changed except for me.
I’m fucking losing my shit, I can’t -
I’ve adapted but I fear I’ll never overcome
Entangled and trapped
Now look what you’ve done
I fell in love with a spark
Doused myself in gasoline
Unafraid of what it might start
The brightest fucking flame that I’ve ever seen
I’m entangled in your warmth
Every day a fever dream
I ache to be consumed
I swear that you are all I need
You’re the worst of the worst
It ain’t all bad but it really fucking hurts
I said “look into my eyes and put me down quick,
Before the whole world burns
You left me broken and sick”
No end in sight
Until we’re one with the dirt
No one to change my mind
I just want to see you hurt
Insufferable
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4. |
Bone Pipe
03:31
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Tell me
Has my suffering satisfied you thirst?
I’m strung up, sucked dry, painted you a smile with my blood
They said happiness has a price
But my cost was a curse
Seems like my absolute best still is your very fucking worst
I’m dead tired
I wish death upon these liars,
Professional bullshitters and internet messiahs
Fuck your lollipop dreams
And your fetishised violence
I’ll bring glory to the four five
Until there’s nothing but silence
This could be my curse or my remedy
This is me showing off what I have kept unseen
Might as well face it head first as my body’s debasing
All of my bones up for the taking
My mind broke, but I’ll never be breaking
Don’t go easy on me - You either fight or you flee
This life didn’t break me, my mind just got bent
All these contract chasing morons they all want to contend
But walk a mile in my shoes and your guaranteed ascent
Will have you hanging by your laces and that’s why I said
I smoke that bone pipe, I’m feasting off that marrow
Fuck your industry bullshit, I just want to feel alive so
Take me out back where all the bad dogs die slow
You’ll still deal with my teeth ‘cause this is something imma fight for
Fuck redemption
I just want you to see
Cold heart burns all
As I wade through this with my own bare hands
I’ve learned that it would not be you picking me up
You’re holding me back
I’m so sick of you hopping on a trend
Hey - you’re like a dog bitch, barking for a scent [no mercy]
I want to spit into the hand you extend
This ain’t no offer, this is an advance
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5. |
Peine
03:00
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No mental place to stay, it’s slowly getting frightening
I never saw this coming
Now it hits me in the face
No human state to brave, comfort will unlikely be among the options
Since you are all over the place
Come with me, run from me
All the stuff I didn’t want to hear
Crashed into the world with you dear
Come with me, run from me
Here’s a little song for you who kept me blemished by her defects
But can she stand the truth?
And it may seem prearranged
I swear I’ve never been more certain you’ll never ever change
No blood worth spilling
No heart worth filling
It’s only love we’re killing
So here’s to a better you
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6. |
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If this wasn’t for you, then would you do that for me?
If this wasn’t as good, then would you grab me a piece?
If you don’t care for the truth, then keep lying
Seems like you’re well on your way
If anything brought me closer I’ll push you away
Trying to score these days
Bet that is not quite me
Nothing new but that’s ok
To win would surprise me
Looked up upon by you
Come scratch the surface please
I’m buried underneath
Perfectly (so don’t remind me)
Who said I could do this by myself?
Well I’m begging you for help
You’re giving me hell
Come catch my final breath
The best I’ve ever had (but don’t remind me)
I’m setting fire to the drapes
Forever catch a fade
A perfect future flourished too late
Come kill the flame
The heat burns my face
I’ll see who you’ll be
There’s no you, there’s no me
We’re all dead
I’ll try to make myself believe
You deserve to see only the better of me
I choose to keep my future clean
And polished for you
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7. |
Secrets Make Lonely
04:42
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I fear it’s going to eat me alive
A thousand teeth glisten in the night
With heavy conscience and lead-lined soles
My weary head burns
I’m tired of it all
You can hear a pin drop in my heart
Echoes of memories gone lost, but you heard nothing
Best believe me when I say
I only want what’s mine to take
Time has passed and I will no longer wait
I’ll leave the shadows and get into the shade
It follows me around
Forces me further down
A prison without walls
A cage without bars
Might not seem trapped at all
But when light becomes sparse
It starts seeping in through every crack
Out come the teeth as my heart refracts
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8. |
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Where’s the hope at, what’s the use?
You think and act like you made it, but you have no clue
Ain’t no surprise to see you crawl on your knees
Heard you beg before but what is in there for me
Seems like you take me for what I am not
If you take me for granted - Better get lost
The sooner the better - I’m in need of a lot
Don’t sit here and wait for things to go wrong
I'd rather try than ask your help
I will get there by myself
In eenzame hoogtes en lelijke laagtes
Vanaf mijn geboorte met tergende traagte
Werd ik gegeseld en bespuwd, bemind en gedragen
Door menig mens geschuwd in mijn donkerste dagen
Maar wat weet gij?
Fuck your feelings
What about mine?
I’m so sick of that same old thing
Running over and over again
Look at you desperately trying
One should wake up early to surprise me
I don’t have a clue - what the hell you’re doing
I will make a move - get your game ruined
Always stay exclusive
Time to make a fist
Pull myself through it
I lived my nightmares like the most vivid of dreams
Landed on my feet ‘cause I crawled on my knees
Strength through misery.
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9. |
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I can hardly breathe cause I can hardly be myself
People staring at me, but they all look for someone else
I’ve been lashing out like a monkey in a cage
You might see a fucking stage, but this a sold out grave
And I know it’s easier to listen when you don’t want to hear
Chose a thousand fucking funerals over white walls for years
So if suffering is key, then show me the lock
‘cause thirty years of pain
And this is all I got
Black is my soul, yellow my drip
Blue is my collar and I won’t forget
How I looked at my hands, shaking and red
And thought “people are poison, so I don’t need help”
Said I’d fucking do it - done - did it myself
Buried my soul at the bottom of a well
So toss a fucking coin and be a patron to my hell
Forty fucking five, fuck the hand I was dealt
If I’m at my worst, it can only get better
If I keep you close, then I’ll always remember
That it comes in waves, like it came today
Might have made my peace but I’m still feeding off the [hate]
I’m chasing new lows, ‘cause it keeps me fit
I’ll ask with my mouth or I’ll take with my fist
Saw myself in a dream doing awful shit
I just want to sleep but now I’m married to regrets
This ain’t permanence - this is punishment
Lost my innocence, fuck an accomplishment
In life and in death : triple fucking beam
I’m worried about my soul, give a fuck about a scene
I’m gone.
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Doodseskader Ghent, Belgium
DOODSESKADER (“death squad”) is the new brand of sonic terror from the minds of Tim De Gieter (Amenra, Every Stranger Looks Like You,…) and Sigfried Burroughs (Kapitan Korsakov, The K., …).
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