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Still Haven't Killed Myself

from Still Haven't Killed Myself by Doodseskader

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Stephen M Bennett
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lyrics

Open my casket and crawl out of my grave
Godly ambitions as I put on my chains
Mirror splits my face into a thousand fragments
Forgot what I even looked like
Guess I finally got demented
Days I wish I could forget everything I've ever seen
Days I miss the bottle because that was really me
Smoke my brain to a pulp
So I could cope with the pain
Med habit runs in the family so I ain't even ashamed

Spent my days climbing
Until I almost fell
Lessons I learned
And now I only trust myself
Drop after drop I kept giving and giving
Thought as long as I had songs to sing I could just keep on living

It's been two years and I still haven't seen anyone
Four more months and I bet the f***ing flock will come
And give me the same speech that they always do
About "day one friends" and how "we is crew"
But now I lost myself and you no longer know me
I cut my arm to shreds to make sure I'm not a phoney
Bars upon bars ain't a prison that can hold me
Watch me peel back the skin and collect all of these trophies

Now I'mma do as I see fit
Cut out the cancer so I can f***ing live
Thought it was always us and you was part of the clique
Fool I ain't never seen your face and you ain't never done sh**
Ask me how I live, beg me to forget
Said you was never f***ing there and we don't do alternative facts

Devil give me strength so I can live with what they do to me
They claiming we is friends but I know all these s***ers using me
Consider me a step up towards burning the f***ing ladder
This is life or death and bet I chose the f***ing latter

Noose around my neck
Ask me how I live
Talk about good intentions but all these f***s I couldn't give
Said all you want is peace, but how can we let this rest
When I haven't slept in years and she's still sitting on my chest
Little b****

credits

from Still Haven't Killed Myself, track released May 25, 2022

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Doodseskader Ghent, Belgium

DOODSESKADER (“death squad”) is the new brand of sonic terror from the minds of Tim De Gieter (Amenra, Every Stranger Looks Like You,…) and Sigfried Burroughs (Kapitan Korsakov, The K., …).

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